I’ve talked in the past about expectations and how important they can be to improving your golf game.
When we’re in the process of selecting and setting a goal, regardless of what it may be, we absolutely must back this decision up with a positive expectation (or faith) that what we want is attainable and “creatable”.
The curse of certain expectations became much more apparent to me when I began teaching others.
I had a small group of women who had signed up for a five part series of lessons. They came along very early in my teaching career, and they were fun and enjoyable to work with. And they taught me a lot too.
None of them had played much if any golf at all, and only two had actually hit balls on the practice range. Like all new students, we worked on the fundamentals of a good swing, and by the second lesson, 3 out of the 4 women were producing very nice swings and getting some good shots into the air.
As anyone would be, they were overjoyed when they connected with the ball and sent it flying. We all know the wonderful feeling of hitting a shot just perfectly…it’s one of those things that keep us coming back to the game…those perfect shots.
The only problem is, we don’t hit them all the time. No one does. But I forgot to tell my new students that.
Mis-hits, topped shots, and complete misses, while tolerated and perhaps expected in the beginning, were now scorned, and demoralizing.
And of course, the more frustrated they got, the more their tension and “trying” would grow, and those wonderful shots became more infrequent.
If the shot wasn’t perfect, something must be wrong.
They would ask, “why am I only hitting one shot out of ten good?” And at the time all I could suggest was going back to the fundamentals…make sure your grip is good, soften the grip a little, relax your arms, waggle the club…and so on. It didn’t do much good.
The fact was that expectations were the problem, and those had been set after the very first good shot.
In lessons today, I like to address this issue of expectations right off the bat with new students. First off, if you’re just starting out, relish those shots that you hit well. Feel the rhythm and timing and engage all your senses in the wonderful process of hitting a great shot.
On those shots that are mis-hit, which many inevitably will be, it’s important to understand that these are necessary, and while they may be less pleasant to experience, they are a part of the growth and refinement of the golf swing.
Adults I think get caught up in too many things.
The idea of perfection…or that others will see them mess up. That mishitting the ball is somehow a failure when compared to the referenced experience of hitting a great shot. No, they are not alike at all, but misses are a part of the game. Yet the mistakes and frustrations are internalized and these are what often lead to problems that continue to mount.
Children tend to take the whole experience much better.
What do they do? They think less, and keep swinging. They laugh and are thrilled when they hit a good shot…and when it’s not so good, they tee it up and hit another one. No conditions, no reservations, and no worries.
It’s not a bad way to play the game at any age!
When you’re learning the game, go easy on yourself. Expect to hit some really great shots because you will. Enjoy those moments and hold on to them.
Golf is a game of mistakes…even the pro’s will admit that few shots are hit exactly as they want them to be. Realize that as a beginner your attitude will matter much more than the altitude of your nine iron.
Play the game for fun, and grow into it.
Practice with good instruction behind your work and advancement. Work with a trusted teacher but do not trust everyone for their advice.
Keeping the game simple is best. Keeping the game fun is important. And keeping your expectations realistic yet advancing towards worthwhile goals is the smart way to grow into golf.
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